Stories we tell ourselves:
as soon as my bank account is at the right amount, I’ll be okay;
as soon as my marriage is better, I’ll be okay;
as soon as this health situation is resolved, I’ll be okay;
as soon as I find the right job, I’ll be okay;
…on and on.
We create a “conditional” sense of feeling okay. It seems all of the big deals in our life must be heading in a positive direction for us to feel fundamentally okay and have a deep sense of well-being.
I am in the midst of a tricky health situation which offers me the opportunity to wonder about how I create my experience of conditional well-being. I want to see past the stories I've created about when it's okay, to feel okay.
I want to feel okay, even when my body isn’t!
Here’s what I am playing with to ease the grip of conditional well-being. These are strategies I’ve learned over years of focusing on spirituality…you’ll recognize them.
I’ve added contemplation to my day, time to simply be.
I mediate each morning for 20 minutes.
When I notice my thinking is spinning out of wack, I switch to noticing what’s happening in the moment rather than rehash the past or predict the future.
When I notice a strong emotion, I allow myself to feel it. So, if I feel sad, I let it roll through me, and then I move on.
I surround myself with wise people who are further down the spiritual road than I.
So far, the most helpful understanding that has come from engaging in these behaviors is...I am not body. I am much bigger than this body, I am (as are you) as vast as the universe! My body is simply where my soul is hanging out to have a human experience…I find this comforting and mind-blowingly exciting.
I am not suggesting you do what I do, you have your own wisdom and spiritual understandings, but I would certainly be happy to have a chat about this if you’d like.
Sending you love.