Behavior Basics, part 2.

As you learned in Behavior Basics, part 1, breaking big projects into small chunks and working in 25 minute sessions is a tested way to more easily work through big projects or seemingly difficult life changes.

The next piece of the puzzle for most of us is, where to actually begin. 

  • Where in this room should I start decluttering? 

  • Where do I start my journey to healthy eating?  

  • Where is an easy place to begin a habit of going to the gym?

  • Where to I start this job search?

The answer to all of these questions…start EASY….the best place to begin is where you WILL begin. Let that soak in. The best place to begin is where you will begin. 

Start with your sock drawer, look for healthy recipes, call two gyms to schedule tours, ask a friend to help you update your resume…small, easy steps.

If you still feel too overwhelmed to begin…look for an even easier place to begin…take a step back and wonder, “what’s the smallest, easy step I can take to actually move forward?”

Here's how this strategy has worked for me:

  • I began my PhD by getting clear on the application requirements.

  • I started to downsize from a big house to a small house by gathering cardboard boxes.

  • I started a meditation practice by attending my first group mediation class.

  • I started my own business by dumping my ideas onto poster paper.

These were the first steps that mades sense to me. I bet you have your own examples of times when you made a big change in your life by starting with a small step.  

Step after step moves us through amazing, life changing adventures. 

Time together, not material gifts deepen connections.


We know our connections with each other are more important than stuff, but this time of year many of us give material gifts as a way to show love.

But come to find out, giving material gifts isn't the best way to deepen our connections with each other. 

This is worth repeating....in a 2017 Harris Poll survey found nearly 7 in 10 Americans said they would skip exchanging gifts this holiday season if their friends and family agreed to it. 

AND 60% said they would spend more time with friends and family if they didn't have to worry about gifts.

Our brains are wired to value experiences with others, especially if they are emotionally powerful. Fun and interesting time together like seeing a concert or a day at the zoo are actually better than material gifts at deepening our connections. 

Experiences with a lot of emotion are more easily stored in our long term memory. This means we can recall them and enjoy the experience again and again…the gift that keeps giving. 

Research supports that experiential gifts are more effective than material gifts at improving relationships from the recipient's perspective. If you want to deepen your connection with someone, consider a gift of doing something together.

FYI- Friday morning around 9:00 I'll be having this very conversation with the friendly anchors at Kansas City's Fox 4.

Another Kind of Gift.

Client: "Do you know what I want from my husband for Christmas?"

Me: Ummm, no.

Client: "Our time together has been so helpful that I want my husband to give me your 6-Month Laser Coaching Package so we can continue our work together."

Well, that's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard...for a girl who's whole purpose for being alive is to be helpful, this feels like a big, warm affirmation hug! A true, true gift for me.

I am gathering my watercolors to create a magical little gift card especially for this woman...I might even get out the glitter. 

Trimming $100 off the 6-Month Laser Coaching package (Reg. $897) until Dec. 24th to make it easier to say YES to yourself this season! (If you want a hand made gift card, let me know by the 19th so it will arrive in time.)

If you're looking for the gift of creating an expansive life focused on doing more of what you want and letting go of what you don't, click here and send me a message.

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